I'm looking for answers.
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
California on the brink.
If anyone can tell me what it means when a state closes for business, I'd love to hear. This country is in such a deep pile of crap I'm surprised people don't just implode as they're walking down the street or driving in their cars. "The reality of a deepening recession" is how investors are taking this. After billions and billions of dollars of bailout money and fraud from every corner, what will keep us from revolting? Why do I feel like this stimulus package will just be the band-aid on a continuously bleeding wound?
I'm looking for answers.
I'm looking for answers.
the largest cockroach ever.
Why the largest cockroach ever has tormented me in the last month is a mystery. Didn't it know death would be the only answer that would come a 'calling? I "bumped into" this specimen last night and I think it injured it, and then there it was, wriggling on its back until it wriggled no more. The previous cockroach from about 2 weeks ago shot out of the stove as I had the broiler/stovetop on, which leads me to believe there is a large infestation behind the kitchen appliances. The biggest trap they sell out there in hardware store-land is no match for the monstrous size of these bugs. Eeeegh. It hasn't helped that in the literature class I have been attending at school we recently read The Metamorphosis. So now I feel like I am killing somebody's son. My fear of bugs is occasionally only surpassed by my fear of flying. On a weekly basis one fear trumps the other. This week is a toss up, after the tragedy in Buffalo.
Meanwhile, my winter break from school is a welcome remedy to the severe depression I have been going through, due to my lack of self-starter theater-making.
Got a post from friends in LA - they are shooting a reality pilot out there and they're loving it.
I think I need to travel.
Meanwhile, my winter break from school is a welcome remedy to the severe depression I have been going through, due to my lack of self-starter theater-making.
Got a post from friends in LA - they are shooting a reality pilot out there and they're loving it.
I think I need to travel.
Monday, February 16, 2009
another hiatus gone bust
Hello dear reader(s)? Hello? Tumbleweeds?
I am back, returned from the land of internet nod, curious again, in the need to express myself on the electronic page.
Back in NY, I can't tell if I love or hate being here in the city. This seesawing hits me on a daily basis. As we look at our dwindling bank account, I hate it here. It's too expensive. As I step into another theater to help out or work on a project, I love it here. As I learn to teach at a public middle school, it's hard to tell. I've been teaching full time since the beginning of January - it is undoubtedly a recession-proof job, but I don't know if it's my calling. My recent stepping-into-theaters experience leads me to believe that my home is the theater and teaching is a way station. But I feel fortunate to have a job, in this, the worst economy since the '30s. And it's way more inspiring, interesting and rewarding than my other life as a word processor. I am sitting in on a social studies class, looking at civil rights history (beginning with the end of slavery). When I learned about civil rights in middle school we were given one day for Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King Jr., and that was it. But here, some fortunate 'tweens in the NYC schools are learning about the details of Emmett Till and African Americans in the military and racism's history which shows its ugly face in light of events happening today. I should mention that where I work is super special. I imagine that most schools are not like this (it's what I've been told).
Meanwhile, my spotty relationship with theater continues. I am working on a project going up at the Joyce SoHo in a week - a little 10 minute movement/theater piece - very fun, though I feel incredibly out of shape and somewhat of an outsider. I've had that outsider feeling a lot, since I had a falling out with a director/colleague over a year ago. The details of this unfortunate event are not so important. What I do know is that I am looking for a theater home, hence, feeling of being an exile. I sometimes wonder if I need to create this home for myself rather than look to other artists. As I write this, I know the answer is yes, and that I need to be a self-starter, cultivate something, and quick.
But I ramble. Thanks for reading.
Red Hook, Brooklyn, October 2008
I am back, returned from the land of internet nod, curious again, in the need to express myself on the electronic page.
Back in NY, I can't tell if I love or hate being here in the city. This seesawing hits me on a daily basis. As we look at our dwindling bank account, I hate it here. It's too expensive. As I step into another theater to help out or work on a project, I love it here. As I learn to teach at a public middle school, it's hard to tell. I've been teaching full time since the beginning of January - it is undoubtedly a recession-proof job, but I don't know if it's my calling. My recent stepping-into-theaters experience leads me to believe that my home is the theater and teaching is a way station. But I feel fortunate to have a job, in this, the worst economy since the '30s. And it's way more inspiring, interesting and rewarding than my other life as a word processor. I am sitting in on a social studies class, looking at civil rights history (beginning with the end of slavery). When I learned about civil rights in middle school we were given one day for Rosa Parks and Martin Luther King Jr., and that was it. But here, some fortunate 'tweens in the NYC schools are learning about the details of Emmett Till and African Americans in the military and racism's history which shows its ugly face in light of events happening today. I should mention that where I work is super special. I imagine that most schools are not like this (it's what I've been told).
Meanwhile, my spotty relationship with theater continues. I am working on a project going up at the Joyce SoHo in a week - a little 10 minute movement/theater piece - very fun, though I feel incredibly out of shape and somewhat of an outsider. I've had that outsider feeling a lot, since I had a falling out with a director/colleague over a year ago. The details of this unfortunate event are not so important. What I do know is that I am looking for a theater home, hence, feeling of being an exile. I sometimes wonder if I need to create this home for myself rather than look to other artists. As I write this, I know the answer is yes, and that I need to be a self-starter, cultivate something, and quick.
But I ramble. Thanks for reading.
Red Hook, Brooklyn, October 2008
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